just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize