Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
birth control should be required to get into college
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
and you fell through a lawn chair
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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