Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Vodka?
Forever.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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