is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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