She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize