Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Randomize