I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize