I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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