Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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