i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize