She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
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Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
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Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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