Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
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Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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