i already hear my dad disowning me
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize