Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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