i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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