Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
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