she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
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