I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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