So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
time to smoke my breakfast
either way he was missing a nipple.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize