You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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