Soap is not a condiment
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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