I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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