I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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