Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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