Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
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I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
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Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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