Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(619): View more from California

I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe. http://tfl.nu/jto0

Replies (24) Good night (4164) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(+34): View more from Spain

Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+34): Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow. http://tfl.nu/qh3w

Replies (16) Good night (4130) Bad night (584)
Favorite
(972): View more from Texas

i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.

(817): View more from Texas

Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.

(972): View more from Texas

ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(972): i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating. (817): Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away. (972): ur like the dr phil of bizarro world. http://tfl.nu/uybr

Replies (66) Good night (5486) Bad night (1074)
Favorite
(608): View more from Wisconsin

Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(608): Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/zigv

Replies (25) Good night (3789) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(310): View more from California

I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips. http://tfl.nu/o6k6

Replies (15) Good night (1539) Bad night (2850) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

Some milfs here doing some blow

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

Dad?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): Some milfs here doing some blow (1-203): Dad? http://tfl.nu/14p7

Replies (64) Good night (3646) Bad night (8083) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me. http://tfl.nu/3ypx

Replies (27) Good night (1022) Bad night (11115)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award. http://tfl.nu/7kwq

Replies (6) Good night (3561) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever. http://tfl.nu/15o8

Replies (18) Good night (7321) Bad night (1208) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(516): View more from New York

its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved http://tfl.nu/wek7

Replies (11) Good night (5152) Bad night (1194) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(239): View more from Florida

"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(239): "Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood. http://tfl.nu/hwa3

Replies (18) Good night (1291) Bad night (4046) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time.. http://tfl.nu/irbs

Replies (6) Good night (1301) Bad night (4211) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.

(512): View more from Texas

Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college. (512): Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good. http://tfl.nu/chyc

Replies (9) Good night (1414) Bad night (852)
Favorite
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(570): No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am. http://tfl.nu/layb

Replies (6) Good night (1793) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(361): View more from Texas

Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(361): Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/ihmp

Replies (5) Good night (1889) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: