Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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