Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize