I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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