can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
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We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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