for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize