i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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