I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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