roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
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What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
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Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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