My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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