im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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