Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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