we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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