I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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