Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize