Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
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I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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