she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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