if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize