You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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