I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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