Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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