They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
sarcasm needs its own font
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize