By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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