i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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