just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize