Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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