Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize